Environmental Diva

Discuss.

Some of you kindly (note the sarcasm) mentioned the problem with CFLs is the mercury content and that I didn’t discuss that in my last blog entry.  So, I’ve taken the criticism to heart and the result is the Environmental Smack Down Challenge.

Environmental Smack Down Diva (ESDD): *in best announcer voice* Welcome to the Environmental Smack Down Challenge. I’m your host, Environmental Smack Down Diva.  Before we begin, let me introduce you to our contenders.

(ESDD gestures to one corner.)

ESDD: In this corner we have CFLs and huge amounts of energy savings!

(ESDD gestures to another corner.)

ESDD: And in this corner we have the big bad and brawny Mercury myth!  They’ve skirmished.  Fought. Passed out. And resurfaced, and today they meet again for the final smackdown.  CFLs, Mercury myth, take your places.

(CFLs and Mercury myth meet in the middle of the ring, shake hands, square off.)

ESDD: Just to go over a few rules - no hanky panky, no shattering glass, and no spilled mercury.  We want a clean fight here.  You know the rest!

Bell:  DING!

ESDD: Mercury myth pulls a newspaper out of his glove, The Ellsworth American, and tosses it to CFLs.

Mercury myth: Take that!  Mercury levels in that broken bulb were over 6 times the normal level.

ESDD: Mercury myth references an article about a woman who received a $2k estimate for cleaning up a broken CFL.

CFLs: You’ll have to do better than that to take me down. I have this!

ESDD: CFLs throws down the gauntlet!  It’s an official-looking report!

CFLs: The analysis numbers from Maine!  The mercury levels were only high where the bulb shattered, and even that dissipated to normal levels over a short amount of time. I’d say that trumps your lousy and outdated article!

ESDD: CFLs brandishes the report in Mercury myth’s face.  It’s a report from the government of Maine that lists the mercury levels found at the woman’s house after she broke a CFL.  The results were within normal limits except for the area where the bulb shattered.  But further tests showed mercury levels returned to normal levels before a second test was completed.  Mercury myth can’t take the proof and falls to his knees!

Mercury myth: B-but Energy Star says you have to recycle CFLs.  It’s so much work and people are so lazy! Plus, you have to take special precautions if you break one!

ESDD: CFLs is hovering over Mercury myth.  It looks like…, yes…, CFLs is delivering his famous knockout punch! 

CFLs: [swings] You’re done for Mercury myth!  Energy benefits far outweigh your measly mercury levels, so says Australia, Ontario, and treehuggers everywhere!

ESDD: You heard it here folks, the energy savings for CFLs is higher than the risk of mercury.  Just remember to dispose of your CFLs properly and be careful if you break one.  CFLs have a long life, so when it comes time for you to replace your bulbs in the next few years, use Energy Star’s guidelines.   This is Environmental Smack Down Diva saying Good night and good recycling.

Special thanks to the most famous debunker of all, Snopes, and especially their Light Fingered page.

How to achieve diva status and maintain a clear conscience? Slowly, that’s how. I started easy, with a “low energy” theme - just to get into the groove, you know?

My next step was to check out the competition - who are the other environmental divas out there? There’s not much, let me tell you.

I did find Elizabeth, a non-diva, who posted this blahblahblog entry, where she claims she’s not a diva (we believe you, Elizabeth). You know the blahblahblog type, right? Where the blogger rants on and on about something you might be interested in if he/she didn’t kill it with his/her ranting to the point where as you’re reading your brain starts going “blah blah blah” and you skim the rest of the entry to see if there’s anything good (there rarely is)? Yeah, that’s what that entry is like, but hey, at least she isn’t using comic sans.

Other than Elizabeth, there wasn’t much in the way of environmental divaism out there. Hurray for the niche-filler (me)! But what to blog about that might keep me even mildly interested? A couple of things:

• Consumerism (sounds lame, but I’ll spin it)
• Daylight savings (uh, what? are you kidding here?)
• What to shop with (surely there’s something other than those hideous canvas bags)
• Where to shop (now we’re talking!)
• Pro-environment shopping and products that replace non-environmental products
• Whatever else I feel like writing about

So, I’m going diva, environmental style. Get ready for a diva with a conscience.

Because a Diva Cares

P.S. Aside from a bit o’ ranting, Elizabeth has some interesting posts. This bit on polyester and consumerism is readable if you ignore the bit about not buying clothes for a year.

Let’s play “Guess That Tune.”

I’m too diva for hum vees too diva for hum vees
vees ain’t going to seat me

I’m too diva for M-hertz too diva for M-hertz
So diva it hurts
And I’m too diva for spray cans too diva for spray cans
light bulbs and fake tans

And I’m too diva for trash bins
too diva for trash bins
no way I’m not recycling

I’m shameless you know what I mean
And I drink coffee hot in a pink mug
Yeah in a pink mug in a pink mug yeah
I poor my ‘bucks latte in a pink mug

I’m too diva for cardboard too diva for cardboard
too diva to store
And I’m too diva to be fat too diva to be fat
Too diva to be fat what do you think about that

I’m a diva you know what I mean
And I buy bamboo clothes on the internet
Yeah on the internet on the internet yeah
I use my credit card on the internet

I’m too diva for my too diva for my too diva for my

‘Cuz I’m a diva you know what I mean
And I flaunt my canvas bag at the market
Yeah at the market at the market yeah
I flaunt my canvas bag at the market

I’m too diva for my pic too diva for my pic
no glossy no glossy pic
I’m too diva for hum vees too diva for hum vees
vees ain’t going to seat me

And I’m too diva for … this blog